Around the year 000, apart from the twelve officially listed tribes of Israel, there are dozens of competing Jewish sects that more or less conform to the precepts of the Torah. It is this “more or less” that irritates the Eternal One. One fateful morning, having got up on the wrong side of the bed, He instructs Moses to pass on to his former darlings the program of the rejoicings to come.

We have compiled a non-exhaustive list of these rejoicings for you. One of them relates to a founding element of the Abrahamic software. Guess which one!

Devarim (Deuteronomy), 28

22. “The Lord shall smite thee with consumption, fever, inflammation, scorching heat, parching, jaundice and gangrene, which shall pursue thee until thou perish.”

27. “The Lord will strike you with the ulcer of Egypt, hemorrhoids, scabies and ringworm, from which you cannot recover.

28. The Lord will strike you with delirium, blindness, wandering of the mind […]”

35. “The Lord will strike you in the knees and thighs with a malignant ulcer from which you cannot recover; he will strike you from the sole of your foot to the top of your head.”

43. “The stranger who will be in your midst will rise higher and higher above you, and you will sink lower and lower;

44. he will lend to you, and you will not lend to him; he will be the head, and you will be the tail.”

61. “And even the Lord will bring upon you, until you are destroyed, all kinds of diseases and plagues that are not mentioned in the book of this law.”

Solution in Homo juchremanensis (epub/kindle)