“It is therefore important for boys to go to maktab (elementary school) at an early age, when learning resembles carving in stone.”

Al-Ghazāli (1058-1111)

“What about girls?”

Anonymous

– Teacher, where are Mom and Dad?

– At work. Making money.

– What for?

– To pay off the loan on the car that takes you to your free, compulsory, secular school every morning.

– What’s going to school for, teacher?

– Come on, child! To race for points with your friends to be sure! Just like on ‘Family Feud’, ‘Wheel of Fortune’, ‘Split Second’ or ‘Jeopardy!’ But enough chit-chat! Get out your math exercise books – the most important class as you know, if only to work out the loan interests on Dad’s car, Mom and Dad’s house, your higher education costs, Grandma and Grandpa’s pensions and aftercare, and so on and so forth. Write carefully: “Knowing that, out of the 24 hours allotted to them by their connected watches, 8 hours are devoted to work, 1/2 hour to lunch break, 2 hours to transport + 3 hours to TV/social networks/Zineflix series, and knowing on the other hand that a child needs 10 hours sleep a day, how much time do his/her parents have left to fulfill their parents duties?” I pick up the papers in 5 minutes!

– What’s “parents duties”, teacher?

– Say… explain to their children how to make more money than the people next-door… How to get a bigger car than them…

– Teacher… What else is there in life apart from making money?

– “Apart from… ” Learning not to ask silly questions, that’s what there is!!! Now you get down to work!

– Teacher ! It’s Britney, she says that her parents are unempl…

– Britney!!! You’ll copy me a hundred times: “I’m not supposed to swear in class”. As for your “parents”- if they still deserve the name – they should be ashamed of themselves for forcing other parents to work overtime to subsidize their pitiful lives! By the way, dear, no need to come prowling around the canteen at lunchtime anymore ! Our beloved Leader – long live him and his revered ass – has made the wise and courageous decision to stop feeding the children of unemp…

– Teacher!!!

More illustrative fictions in Homo juchremanensis (epub/kindle)